Summa summa time.

1. I need a job.
2. I've never actually had to look for a job.
3. I don't like it when jobs don't just fall into my lap.
4. Water tubing, while incredibly fun, is incredibly scary.
5. The beach and I have reunited yet this summer and that's a problem.
6. Lakes in upstate New York are beautiful.
7. Community is actually really funny. Funny enough to keep me and my sister up until midnight. But that could have been the extreme heat.
8. Riding in a car for six and a half hours without air conditioning isn't fun. I don't care if our parents did it for years. They didn't have to wear seatbelts. It's a trade-off.
9. It should be physically impossible to sunburn oneself simply by standing in a lake but still have certain areas still be bright white.
10. The name of this blog comes from my own personal battle with chronic hiccups. Only it hasn't really been a battle because I've had them every day for fourish years

Two days in a row

So today I can't complain about how all I've done is work.. because I haven't done any. Instead, I tried to go get my permit. I'm kind of a year late on the whole driving thing for no reason other than that I didn't want it. Apparently, this is a growing trend among teenagers. For the first time since, I don't remember the exact date, but at least twenty years ago, fewer teenagers are getting their permits. Why? Well, partially because, in recent years of the economic downturns perhaps fewer people have access to cars. But more than that, it's a combo platter of parents who drive us everywhere and public transport. I live in a place with good public transportation - buses and subways get me pretty much anywhere I want to go. So for me what's the point? I mean what would I get out of this other than being able to drive my siblings to soccer practice? There's really only one or two people my age I know, who drive on a regular basis.

I didn't get my permit today because there were too many permit tests going on. Which sort of refutes everything I just said. But when I do get my permit... if I get around to it, I wonder how much I'll actually drive.

Spring Broken

Like the clever title?

I've spent this break doing homework and studying for APs. And it's raining. And it's chilly.

This time next year I will be in London. Where it will probably also be raining and chilly. But rainy and chilly and British is much more exciting.

Shuffled

Let's try to make this a regular thing yes? (I reserve the right to edit to make things better and more interesting...)

Across the Universe - The Beatles (why have I still not seen this movie)
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin (motto to live by)
The Wizard and I - Wicked Original Cast (... uhhp)
Super Trouper - Mamma Mia Cast (I will never stop loving this)
Baby, I'm a Star - Prince (Go watch Purple Rain and Graffiti Bridge and then try and tell me Prince isn't great)
We Are Golden - Mika (whenever I'm walking somewhere this plays)
Teeth - Lady Gaga (Scary song, crazy lady)
People Ain't No Good - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (So many good songs discovered on soundtracks)
Rock Lobster - The B-52's (Oldiesssss)
Nothin' On You - B.oB. (growing on)

Also shout out to Michael Buble and Haven't Met You Yet who I kinda used to hate but now I love.

This is so much more fun with an ipod with a screen.

WAHHH!!!

Hello world!! Obviously haven't blogged in forever!!! Life got busy, other projects took over my time and this year has been pretty much altogether insane!! But it's April break now and while I've pretty much only been doing my homework, I'm forcing myself to take a break, so here's a recap on my life.
SUMMER '09 - Easily the best times of my life. SO many new experiences, so many great people.

• DARTS - I'm pretty sure there's a whole moderately long post about this - yup, yes there is. Go read it. It's the truth.
• BARCELONA - that didn't really need to be capitalized but most incredible nine days of my life. Flying by myself, switching planes. experiences a new culture, learning a whole new city with one of my best friends in the whole world.
  
• California w/ the fam. Crazy time with all the time changes but nonetheless flying with my friends is an experience I'll never forget - I think it was probably the last time all eight of us cousins were together (besides Christmas... so not).

The summer ended on kind of a low note with the unexpected death of my great aunt - someone who was such a force and a presence that no one ever really thought she could pass away. Coming so soon after the death of my great grandmother (who after all was 90) it was a crazy time! And then in a whirlwind of shopping and preparations - school started.

Everyone says that junior year is awful. It's actually worse. Awful. Coupled with the continued changes in my grandfather who was diagnosed with dementia - the first half of this school year was a pretty bad time of it. The courses I had to take this year are the kind that you have to take to go where I want to go, but the whole time you really wonder what exactly you are getting out of it. Not just in the normal "school is pointless" way but more like will I remember any of this after that AP test?

No, I won't.

By far the highlight of this entire year has been festival. Pretty sure there's another festival praising post in there somewhere but this year was something even more special. We wrote our own play, which started as a class in the fall.

We spent seven months together. And at the end, I loved everyone. Once again, I got adopted by the people who played my family - Mama, Papa Bear, Bad Ass Sis and our little brother who it really sucks to be. But we were one big famglia. Our show was one of three student written pieces to make it to finals and no one else had a process just like ours. It was a long long long experience with multiple cast parties to match the very many hell weeks. I met new people and got so much closer to the people I already knew. And this year wasn't tainted by all the craziness relationship wise. I've got so much stress in my life regardless that I've traded in the stressy people for their more chill counterparts.

K, Enough mush.

This spring promises to be equally crazy with APs and SATs and all. But I'm trying to relax more and plan my life out. The whole "every test you take now decides your future", yeah that part of life isn't so great. On the other hand, summer is almost here. This time next year I'll be in London - which means that from now until next year I need to work my butt of in order to pay for London.

If I can get through the next couple of weeks... then I have the summer to relax and find a college that I want to spend the next four years of my life.

No biggie.

Well, how was that for a recap post with enough !! and dramatic short sentences. How about I end with one too?

Bye.

hahaha hahah love to all.

Something to watch

Hey everybody, So I know I haven't been blogging too much lately but I have big plans to change that! The thing is part of the reason that I haven't been blogging though is because I've been working on a brand new website! I'm going to try to keep up this blog as well BUT if you check out this website 2faced I will be posting blog entries, stories, poems and contributing to the advice column (though under a different name). So definitely come check it out and let me know what you think!

Yes! Yes!

Listen most of the way through.


I love summer.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-CS2v8wcc&feature=related

Yes

http://dearoldlove.tumblr.com/

Optimism!

In the last couple of days almost nothing has gone as planned. In a couple of major ways, events did not pan out as I would have liked. So I spent the day or so feeling bad, as evidenced as the post below.

Today though at mentor training (which was mildly interesting and kind of a mini-first day of school), we kept tossing around "optimism". We had to answer all of these questions and the answer, very simply, kept being optimism. It was mostly a joke but it (combined with a long walk home) got me thinking. Optimism is sort of the answer to my doldrums. I expected some instant grand change in my world, which of course didn't happen because it never does. And then I let the bad stuff cloud my vision. But the truth is, all of this only make the potential for good things that much greater. I love this idea.

In other news I've been working out every day and I just feel so much better. I have ideas if you need them...

Also I'm thinking of starting a new blog with a friend of mine. Thoughts on blogspot vs. some other provider?

And now..

I'm getting a little frustrated. I traveled rather a lot this summer, did a ton of things on my own. And I felt like I changed a lot. But now that I'm home I remembered that the world around me hasn't. And that is disappointing.

I am a firm believer that a person creates their world. If you don't like it there's always something small you can do to change it.

I'm having a hard time taking my own advice.

Soundtrack to My Summer

Happiness from Charlie Brown.

"Happiness is learning to whistle. Tying your shoe for the very first time."

Don't Stop Believing by Journey.

"Oh the movie never ends. It goes on and on and on and on."

One Short Day from Wicked.

"Two good friends. Two best friends. Sharing one wonderful. One short...DAY."

I Do Not Hook Up by Kelly Clarkson.

"I do not cook but I can clean, up this mess."

Any Song from Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat.

"Any dream will do."

Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.

"We'd be so fantastical."

Homecoming by Kanye West.

"Do you think about me now and then?"

Never Ending Story Theme Song from The Never Ending Story.

"The answer to our Never Ending Story."

Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi.

"We're halfway there."

Summer Loves

Maybe tomorrow (or the next day) you'll get an actual description of what I've been doing for the last couple weeks. For now, enjoy!

I love hand clapping games in the dark and the HA game on air mattress.

I love movies late at night and running the fan to fill the silence.

I love small streets in Barcelona and huge highways in Los Angeles.

I love the buzz of my phone and the click of a camera.

Going to bed late and waking up later.

Writing letters and buying keychains and.

I love warm weather and cool oceans.

I love new clothes and old pajamas.

I love the best movies in the world and the best worst movies.

I love sprinklers and lights and music.

Hot dogs and hamburgers and more hamburgers.

The Pie 'n' Burger and In and Out Burger.

I love my dogs and other peoples dogs and even birds that wake me up.

I love small doors and even smaller apartments.

I love the boys, the friends and the family in my life.

I love the smell of horse except that I don't but I love horses

Singing loudly down the stairs and reciting entire musicals.

Bad nicknames and even worse jokes.

I love beaches and boba tea and starbucks and gelato.

Most Amazingness

So there are some of the most amazing people in my life. And it's summer. So some of them are gone. And some of them are just in my life for the summer. But somehow that makes all of them just that much more special.

In the past couple of weeks, and the weeks to come, I'm doing things I've never done and I'm extremely excited and absolutely petrified. And all of these things are that much more amazing and that much more approachable slash bearable!

I'm CITing at a camp. There are 5 other CITs who I spend all my time with. Which could basically suck. Except that every single one of them is an incredible person. Who knows if I'll see any of them after Friday (the idea makes me sad) but I've never laughed or sung so much in a week, especially with people who I really don't very well. They may not know this but I can be shy. And my confidence in my singing voice... fleeting at best. Somehow in the last week, I sang, not just sang, led camp songs in front an entire bus. I got up on stage and sang an a cappella version of Journey. Somehow in the last week, I've gained a big sister, a nana, an aunt who used to be an uncle, and became a triplet.

Knowing these wonderful people, has made me miss the stellar people who are normally in my life and at the same time, appreciate them all the more. Today I did nothing because my mummy told me to. And that was lovely. My little sister made me breakfast. I have people I can call in the middle of the night. And I can be called in the middle of the night. People who make me laugh, who are there when I cry. Thank you, amazing incredible people!

Beginning

So this is the eve of the beginning. It's not the beginning of summer, but it is the beginning of my summer. This is where the adventure, the centerpiece of summer begins. CITing at a sleepaway camp for two weeks and then BARCELONA. I've never been anywhere outside of the U.S. (happy fourth of july by the way) let alone flown by myself. The flying alone has me completely freaked out (breathe you have two weeks breathe) but no way was I going to let that be the reason that I wouldn't go to BARCELONA.

For the next three weeks my life will be completely different (with the exception of my brief haitus home next weekend). That's sort've a weird thought because I'm used to this summer. I love summer. I love my town, I love my friends. I'm totally ready to be gone.

I've also got that continual sinking rollarcoaster feeling. Not because I'm particularly nervous to CIT. Not that any of this is anything I don't think I can do. It's just it's so much I don't ussually do. I'm not really a homebody, I'm just getting overwelmed in advance because I won't have the time or energy to get overwelmed later on.

Yesterday was the fourth of july. Oh joy! I love the fourth of july. I love holidays in general of any religion and especially the everyone-can-be-apart-of ones. Which made the fourth of july perfect. Also, added bonus, it was sunny. After a pretty solid two weeks of cold, wet, gray days. Something is very wrong when on July 1 there is some debate over pants or capris? Anyways, yesterday was gorgeous. And for the first time in my life, I branched out of my typical family style pjs on the deck independence day and went out. Okay just to my friend's house and we mostly watched Friends (highly highly reccomended) and I went to view the fireworks from this bridge down by the river. And that really made my day. Not only were there twenty thousand people I knew there, which just made everything better, but I could really see the fireworks. And I love the crowd, the lights, the people, the noise.

And now...

Right about now I'm ready to be home.

Not in general.. just right now. See here's what I've realized:

I love the beach every day from about 11 o'clock when I get up until 5:30 or 6. Round about then, without fail I get antsy. By eight I'm usually reaching for my phone looking for someone to text. Don't get me wrong I'm lovin' the beach, the sun, the people. But it's remarkably hard to turn off the striving to socialize. When I'm at home, nights are meant to be filled with friends and movies and late nights and the square and ice cream and public transportation. It's not that I'm not enjoying myself. Because I really really am! I've got a tan slash sunburn depending on the lighting. I smell like ocean and I've seen dolphins on the beach. Tomorrow I'm going running down the beach all the way to the fort. Last night we went to the boardwalk and had fudge and played skii ball and today I won at minigolf for the first time ever! The weather is gorgeous, it's sunny and I wear nothing but shorts.

But

butButBUT... I have that must-see-people-my-own-age thing kind've wired into me. Even though I'm on vacation and I don't really have anyone here to socialize with, I still feel like I should be getting out of the house and doing things and... As relaxing as this is, it's driving my crazy that I can't go anywhere alone. During the year, I'm always saying oh I just need a break from facebook/AIM/texts/socializing. And I've had that. Now I'd really like to vacation and relax in the mornings and afternoons and then chose what to do/where to be in the night. Is that too much to ask? Yes, yes it is. Somehow the not socializing has become more stressful because I'm being forced to relax. Sounds awful right? I know I shouldn't complain.


Go back to the beach state of mind. And until I get home... socialize for me!

Beachy

So I arrived at the beach house in the wee hours of this morning.

And immediately my whole outlook on love, life, day/night, time changed. You see the beach is not just a place. It's a state of mind, a way of being. And you can't really enjoy the beach until you get into this state of being. Usually, it takes a couple of days but on the (very very long) train ride down here, I mentally prepared myself. For relaxation. Sleep. Uncomfortable air mattress. Sun. Rain. Wind. Mosquitos. Arcades. The list goes on.

So far, we have done the following things: set up my room (my very own no one else just ME no four other people and a dog room), had two meals (the third is being made as I type) and gone to the beach. None of which sounds very exciting. But add in family, good friends, copious amounts of dancing/music and salty water and air. And then you have heaven.

I believe that a lot of the time you create your own atmosphere. And I intend to live, breathe, and BE the beach.

Are you ready for the summer? Are you ready for the sunshine?

So I never really went to summer camp. One artsy-fartsy very structured week and that was my experience of sleep away camps. This summer I'm CITing at the very same camp. And this weekend happened to be orientation. And it was more like camp- the stereotypical movie style (go see Meatballs with Bill Murray if I don't know what I'm talking about) than almost anything I've ever experienced. We played stuck in the mud tag in the dark (you need to go back to gym if you don't know what that is). And we ate at in a dining hall and I got bit by bugs and we had sleep bags. Granted we slept in dorms not cabins. And it was for a night, not the whole summer. But it felt like camp to me.

And the people! I can be shy or I can be super outgoing. But I made friends even before we'd gotten off the bus. All my life I've had friends who are girls and friends who are guys but guys sort've make faster friends? Platonic male friends are somewhat harder to come by but one feels so lucky when one finds them. The 24 hours or so that I was at "camp", I felt like I got to know lot's of people and liked the vast majority of them! Somehow that feeling leaves me feeling like I did good work this weekend. And I genuinely feel like there are a few people who I might become lasting real friends! And that makes me really happy and hopeful. New people give me a new outlook.

Bittersweet

So today was the last day of school. I think I speak for everyone when I say Thank Goodness. I don't think I've ever been so glad for a year to end. This has been a long long year. Some really really amazing things have happened that made my head spin and my mouth feel like it was about to fall off from smiling. And some bad stuff has happened. Some that was totally out of my control and some what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking experiences. And now, I'm tired. I am exhausted in fact. Today was the last day of finals (though we still have to come tomorrow but I'm not counting it). So I'm relieved. It's also kind've, mhm, nerve-racking because my grades are completely out of my control now. But mostly I'm happy because I'm so ready to get out of my town. I love my friends. I love my city. I even mostly love my school. But I'm done. I'm done with homework and tests and studying. I'm done with trying to fit everything everyone wants me to do into the two nights of a weekend. I'm ready to get out the city. Out of my schedule. I love summer. I love sunlight. I love the beach. I'm ready to be done to get out, new people, new places.

(but not a new blog because I like this one)

Today was the strangest day. It should have been sort've a relief but the whole day was a bit of a downer. Nothing bad happened (besides a very long Italian final) but I had a bittersweet feeling all day. I'm super glad to get out of school.. but there's all these people who I probably won't see over the summer. Not that I don't love my friends but, the highlight of my day today was two really random 30 second conversations I had with two random people I don't know very well and won't see over the summer but love anyways. I've been in a rut, pretty much. So I guess it's good school's ending. But can the summer really kick my rut in the butt?

Tweet Tweet

I made a Twitter.
I think they're sort've silly.
But I love it.

Things That Make Me Happy

Rather than studying (which I don't really enjoy).. A list..

• Comments
  
• When the bus pulls backwards out of the crosswalk so that you can walk by.
• When the bus stops in between stops for you (okay, going to try to not talk about the bus)
• Being woken up by my phone (as long as its after 10 o'clock)
• Songs in Italian (they're just.. so.. much.. better)
• Running in the rain
• Actually running in general
• "I Got A Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas
• Study parties (suddenly things are just better)
• Picnics... in any time of the year
• Sunny amazing shorts wearing weather after a long winter/very cold spring
• Enthusiastic "hellos" in the hallways.
• Watching movies with the little sibs.
  
• My brother dancing to 96.000
• My grandma dancing to Cats (okay now I'm getting stuck in dance)
• Taking the train instead of the bus
• Late night surprises slash loonng friday nights.
  
• Catapults
• Traveling (Barcelona/Maine/California/NJ here I come)
  
• Shared clothing (because that means you don't have to pay for all of it)
• People who offer to let you throw a party... at their house.
• Putting away dishes (just don't ask me to load the dishwasher)
• The sun
• "Playdates"
• Speaking Italian

And finally....
I have about 18 hours of school left in the year.